It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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