people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
