my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
