she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
And then he peed in my hair
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