He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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