Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize