You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
