Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
