how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
