Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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