i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
