Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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