did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
even my farts smell like vagina
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
