i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
