So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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