Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
