Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
