I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
