sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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