Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
