Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
