My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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