when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
