I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
