wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize