i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
