Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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