well you can't waste a boner
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
