glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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