she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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