your thong is hanging out like whoa
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize