Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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