Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm passing your future prison.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
