if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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