it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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