Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Drunk is not a location!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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