He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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