I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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