Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
