I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
