Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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