eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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