It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
