I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
