She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
