He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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