things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
