I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
