My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
