Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
