Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
