its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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