As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
