Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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