thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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