Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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