Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
