none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
