He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize