i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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