Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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