Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
