btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
