I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
